I'm new to blogging, my apologies for the terrible formatting. While I've had the Fray, and Coldplay albums for a long time, I'd never listened to them until recently. Now, I can't stop listening to them. Their albums have become the back story to the characters I've developed for my screen play. Mostly because they move me to tears. I feel like the fray took every emotion I've been feeling in the last 3 years and made an album out of it. And if you can listen to Coldplay-"Fix You" as a 21 year old girl, and not cry at least once....again seek help. I can't put into words the experience of listening to these artists, so please take some time, and listen to them. You'll understand me a little better if you do.
Every now and then I forget that I'm only 21, not 45. I get so caught up in feeling like I'm failing my future self, that I forget to enjoy where I'm at in life now.
Recently I did a project on the "inner child" and I choose to write it about Steven Spielberg's "Hook."
If you can watch this clip and not feel your "inner child" I urge you to seek professional help. This clip takes the weight off of my shoulders if only for 4 minutes. It makes me smile, and I value anything that does that.
"A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud."- Ralph Waldo Emerson.
Take a second and reflect, is there anyone in your life that you feel completely comfortable being 100 percent yourself around? Are you comfortable being 100% you, when you are just around you?
Fortunately I have one person in my life that I can answer those questions with a confident yes. Because even when I'm not comfortable with myself, that person is. They know who they are, and I hope I can be that person for them as well.
I think I saw this quote on a google homepage or some random place...but it stuck nonetheless.
This is a view of the Royal grounds at Buckingham Palace in London that I shot this summer. Isn't it beautiful? It was so beautiful to me that I had to stop, and capture it on film so that I could feel this peace again and again. It is currently the background on my laptop.
I tend to take photos of ponds, rivers, oceans, puddles..fish tanks....any bodies of water really.
I often go to centennial park in Nashville and just sit under a Willow tree and think. Water puts me at peace if only for a little while. When I find a pond or lake that is this beautiful, given the chance to sit there and reflect I could easily connect with all of the emotions that I push deeper and deeper down into myself everyday. Water frees me. I know that makes me sound like a tree-hugging hippie. But I don't really care. :-)
I love to go out to shows and I do go out a bit, but more often than not for whatever reason I tell myself, I stay home.
But one night Shoffs convinced me to go out, even though the show didn't start till 11ish at night. Me being the 87 year old woman that I am found it annoying to go out when I should be going to bed.
But then, we got there and Exit In was packed. Belmont alum indie rock band "The Kicks" were having their EP release show for free, and gave everyone a free download of their entire EP.
That was one of the best shows I've been to in a long while. The energy of the band and the crowd was crazy. Their music sounded like the Beatles meets Aerosmith (but of course on a muchh smaller scale). Needless to say, I was impressed and I felt alive.
I think the best way to describe this is to share with the world (or mom and dad) a personal tale from my PCN journal.
"9/16/09 Today I had a mini panic attack in class watching Tod Machover give his speech about how ingenious he was, even though he was an incredibly humble man …that was all I kept thinking. I literally scribbled this down on the corner of my notebook as he spoke. “I’m not Mozart. I have no extraordinary level of talent. I can’t create on his level. I keep looking at my hands expecting some miraculous creative idea to flow through them and just appear as clear as day. But it doesn’t. I’m un-entertainingly average.” I was moved to tears watching that man with cerebral palsy create a symphony from his chair. I have an exceptionally large place in my heart for individuals with special needs. My mother is a speech pathologist supervisor, but she began her career as a speech therapist. I would go to work with her sometimes as a little kid. There were children with all types of special needs playing, sometimes together. Many of them had autism at varying levels. A few children had these special chairs that they could motor around in. I remember being jealous that I didn’t have a cool chair, and I remember thinking that something must have been wrong with me, because these children with autism did not want to play with me, or talk to me. As I grew older I found myself in high school becoming extremely fired up if one of the kids with special needs was being picked on or poked fun of behind their back. I wanted to know what they were thinking. My mother had taught me enough about many of the common disorders that these kids had for me to know that simply because they could not communicate their thoughts clearly to others did not mean that they were unintelligent. Some of the brightest minds belong to people with autism. I wanted to know what went through the minds of the children with cerebral palsy and autism when they heard someone talk down to them or talk about them. I wanted to know if they wanted to retaliate with a witty remark, or if they understood what was being said at all. I wanted to know if they listened to music, and who they would listen to if they did. I wanted to know why they always seemed to be smiling when on my worst days I couldn’t keep a smile on my face. On my worst day, I had a thousand more opportunities than them, and I was still pouting. When Dan Ellsey spoke, immediately tears started to well up in my eyes. And then he created music. He created beautiful music. I cannot create music to save my life, and there was this miracle of a man, his mind seemingly “limited” to those who do not understand the disorder, expressing his heart through music. And for those few moments while he played his music, everyone could see that he truly had a beautiful mind. I’ll tell you it was a good thing the lights were off during this video because tears were streaming down my face. I felt alive after that."
Sometimes you don't have the words to describe a feeling. Sometimes it can only be felt through music. I literally feel more at peace with myself each time I play this song. Check out NeedtoBreathe- Washed by the Water Chorus: Even when the rain falls Even when the Flood starts rising Even when the storm comes I am washed by the water
Even if the Earth Crumbles under my feet Even if the ones I love turn around and crucify me I won't never ever let you down I won't fall I won't fall I won't fall as long as you're around me
I know now that K.D. Lang is a legend of sorts, but I had never heard of her until she popped up on a youtube screen. The above video of Leonard Cohen's Halleluja performed by K.D. Lang moved me to tears. That doesn't happen to me very often. Watch the minutes of standing ovation that she receives at the end. Who does that happen to anymore these days?
I'd heard the song countless times covered by a variety of artists, but I didn't feel the song until she sang it. She made me want to sing again, which is something I didn't think I'd ever say again.
When I was 16 I covered "Once upon a time" from the musical Brooklyn. No matter where I am in life, these lyrics hit my hard in the heart. It wakes me up. The three minutes on that stage were the only three minutes in my life where I felt truly alive. K.D. made me want to feel that way again. To view the 3 minutes where I felt alive, click here
Please watch the above clip. It will change your life, it changed mine.
This woman is amazing. Within the first two minutes of this speech I loved everything about. Her words were some of the only words that really calmed my frantic and terrified 21 year old soul. She gave me hope.
She understood me. I want to be her best friend, hell, I want to be her...kind of. I want to know everything about her philosophy of life and I haven't even read her work.
I look forward to 6 months from now when I graduate. There is a long list of books that I've been wanting to read for years. Eat. Pray. Love has been moved to the top of the stack after hearing her speech on Ted.com.
"Don't be afraid. Don't be daunted. Just do your job. Continue to show up for your piece of it, whatever that might be. If your job is to dance, do your dance. If the divine cockeyed genius assigned to your case decides to let some sort of wonderment be glimpsed for just one moment through your efforts, then Ole! And if not, do your dance anyhow. And ole! to you nonetheless ; I believe this , and I feel that we must teach it; Ole! to you nonetheless for having the sheer human love and stubborness to keep showing up."~ Elizabeth Gilbert
You'll find that most of my posts will be about lyrics or inspirational people. But one of my favorite things to do is watch movies. Specifically, Disney movies...which I happen to blame for my unrealistic expectations of love. This brings me to
I can't really describe the connection I felt to the movie. I am far from relating to the fashion style, musical tastes or love life of any of the characters. I can however relate to a lack of one. Yet, I left the theater feeling completely understood. There was an amazing excited energy that came over me as I left the theater.
It probably had something to do with this scene which happens to be awesome. Who doesn't love a dance scene to Hall and Oats "You Make my Dreams Come True." It may not be considered serious art...but its art that moves me.
Also my boss from my LA internship had a hand in the music for this film, as well as Shoffs...her boss was the music supervisor....so maybe I'm bias....but I don't think I am.
She will most likely kill me for posting this...but...I'm doing it anyway! :-)
Meet my partner in crime...Shoffs
And by "crime" I mean that we are probably the least scandalous goodie goodies to walk the streets of Nashville, Los Angeles, and London. And in the case of London replace "walk" with "run for our lives, frantically lost at 4 in the morning."
Amanda is the most inspirational piece of art you will ever be lucky to come across. She's God's art, as are we all. So her work totally qualifies for this entry. I'd say more embarrassing and flattering things about her, but since I imagine she will have already killed me for writing this much...I don't need to worry about being alive to write about her again. 10 years from now, when another student has to write about a Hero...you can read more about her then. I'm sure she will be a hero for many as she develops her professional career.
If you ever want to be inspired, or gain a new appreciation for life in general I urge you to visit her blogspot. She is one of the most brilliant writers I know (even though she doesn't know that). Her work in any aspect of her life never ceases to amaze me. You can read about her adventures and life changing moments at her blog. You should really visit it anyway as it is the purpose and subject of this post...just sayin
click it, it'll rock your world (Holla Michael Jackson reference)
And if for some bizarre reason, Reed has chosen to show this to the class, and you are sitting next to me red in the face and pissed as hell....know that I'm sorry to have embarrassed you...and I'm laughing on the inside...and probably outside too. I really hope you forgive me before your graduation. :-)
Lets ignore the fact that Bobby Long is friends with Twilight's Robert Pattinson, and co-wrote "Let Me Sign" with him...(take a moment to envision them writing..don't forget to breathe...deep breath and sigh...lovely)
Okay
Bobby Long for some reason tugs on my heart strings. I saw him live at the Wiskey A Go-Go in LA last spring(amongst a billion twilight tweens...I felt super cool btw), and developed a mini obsession with his music, as well as his cockney accent. He may not be the best vocalist in the world, or the best musician for that matter, but I still think he is amazing. There is a twisted yet beautiful suffering in his voice that when wrapped around his deep lyrics makes you long to be his best friend. You want to know immediately what situations could have caused him such pain. You want to heal him, but at the same time keep him wounded so that you have a chance to hear his music again one day.
I suppose he is your typical British tortured poet, but I don't care, he moves me. Here are the lyrics to "Left to Lie" and
I’m afraid to die I’m nearly old I’m almost young Or so I’m told.
They say time is a healer, faith is death or left to die I won’t put my strain on another broken shame or so I lie I’m left to lie I floated down like a long lost dream My savor flew from his stitched up seam I’m afraid to die I’m nearly old I’m almost young Or so I’m told
They say I would be better Far from here Left alone But now my lucks even cheaper I’m played out by the traffic drones I’m still alone Nowhere to go
I floated down like a long lost dream My savor flew from his stitched seams Cuz my friends think I will be the first to die Cuz I’m far far too scared to asked them why I’m afraid to die I’m nearly old I’m almost young Or so I’m told Or so I’m told
For anyone who knows me even the slightest, you'll know that I've been obsessed with Billy Joel since I sang along (strapped in the car seat) to my Dad's Glass Houses cassette tape.
This spring Shoffs (a name you will hear often) and I were lucky enough to snatch tickets to the Face to Face tour. She was a witness, I literally could have peed my pants I was so excited.
While Billy may not be a cool, new, tragic hipster indie dude, hes always amazing to me. More often than not, you'll find me listening to Billy Joel over any new material I may come across. Nothing is more impressive or moving to me than the sound of a piano. Billy is the piano man. His lyrics, blended with his crazy piano hands get me every time. He has a song for every mood or moment I may ever come across.
FYI...I was One year old when this video came out...I'm sure it was super cool then...now its all vintage-y right? That makes it cool again....right?
The following entries will be my first attempt at "blogging" since my junior high days of Xanga (omg xanga!). Then, "blogging" was a new term, and to tweens and teens alike basically became a source for complaining and gossiping and spreading awkward, teenage embarrassment to all of your "frienemies" who had access to computers.
I promise I will not use this blog as I used xanga. Hopefully, at 21, I've matured ever so slightly from myself at 13. Instead, I choose to bring more beauty into the world and share it with all two of the people who will most likely read this. (hi mom, hi dad)
To set this up, my Career Creativity course, taught by suspense novelist Reed Arvin, has asked us to collect moments that inspire us in art, and put them together in what he refers to as a Sapienta Sapor Boni log. Meaning "It is wise to savor what is good." Which also implies, "why the hell would you savor something that was not good?"
So here is my semester long attempt of hopefully savoring the good, and not the Miley Cyrus's and Justin Beibers of the world (sorry Shoffs- beiber4eva?)
So please (make your own thigh drum role) without further ado, sit back and experience a sliver of my soul...
